Don't forget your socks!

Hi everyone! Well, I'm about to become the proud new owner of some new hospital socks. You know the kind, thread count: 2, conspicuous color, grippy bottoms. The nurse always reminds you to take them with you and you wonder why. 

I was diagnosed with Stage IIB (borderline IIIA) ER+, PR- HER2+, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma on January 14, 2021. Breast Cancer. Woof. I told my oncologist I was fairly certain I have cancer because I ate Velveeta cheese twice in a month (#notanad). 

Yep, I know. I’m 35 and healthy...I barely get a cold every year! Not me?! Every healthcare worker congratulates me on never being a smoker! I occasionally do whole 30! I eat quinoa! I just had a baby. I JUST HAD A BABY. This can’t be right. It is, they said. I’m so sorry, they said. 

I got the call the morning of January 14. I shook my head yes to Michael and we knew life would be a little different from that moment on. Cooper was below us bouncing and cooing happily as we cried and I shook. The cancer was growing while I was pregnant with that perfect little person. I like to think he was getting all my good cells while some others were dividing and growing that shouldn't be. I would happily take those cells any day over Charlie or Cooper or Michael. 

So...I’m doing what any millennial whippersnapper would do after being told life altering news...blog about it. Duh! I'm not used to writing in full sentences so bare with me. I'm also not very funny and a so-so writer. You can't wait to read on! I will attempt to keep you in the loop here as treatment begins.

A little background - My husband Michael is my love and best friend all wrapped up in one ginormous body. He's the check mate to my Target run. He broke my toe a month ago by stepping on it (in his defense, he was coming in to give me a hug). When we got the news, I told him well, I guess this is the "for worse" portion of our marriage vows but will make us better. We have two amazing boys. Cooper, 5 months today! and Charlie, 3. They are our world. Cooper was born not long ago, on September 9, 2020 here in Denver, Colorado. He’s the BEST baby. He’s so flipping adorable. I just can’t even. You can’t either, trust me. Cooper throws up on me every 2.3 seconds.

Charlie aka chucknasty is an active 3 year old BOY. (Boy moms out there know what I mean by "active" and can I get an AMEN) He’s obsessed with trash trucks (and all other trucks) and loves doggies and is utterly full of life. Because of him, I know every kind of construction vehicle ever manufactured. Charlie got kicked out of daycare for biting (I'm kind of joking). 

Because of my boys, I know love beyond measure. 

I work from home full time as an orthopedic surgery coordinator for the surgeon that I worked for when we lived in Buffalo, NY, in Michael's hockey coaching days. I have an amazing team! Michael works for Vail Resorts in IT out of the corporate Broomfield, Colorado office but has also been home since covid. We've been able to manage Cooper at home and Charlie goes to Miss Susie's preschool with a couple other friends. Most days I run around like a chicken with my head cut off; I love it. We are so so blessed.

It has been a whirlwind of appointments, tests and more tests and appointments. The cancer was found January 14 (Happy New Year!!?), and after meeting a couple surgeons and oncologists, God led me to my amazing team at the University of Colorado in Denver. More to come there. My oncologist described my cancer as a Ferrari, 0-130 in 3 seconds (comforting). It tends to be more aggressive in young whippersnappers such as myself (I'M STILL IN THAT CATEGORY, GUYS) so we're going to be more aggressive than it is! Cancer got into some of my lymph nodes too so this cancer is a little EXTRA. So the general plan is, chemo first, followed by a double mastectomy and reconstruction aka they cut your boobs off and reconstruct them ("you're going to do what?!") then radiation (I call it a "glow-up") and then re-assess. There are lots of other details and drug therapies and things in there too but that's enough for right now. It seems like a lot and probably is a lot BUT here is the good news. GOD IS BIGGER THAN CANCER! Like, way bigger. So, I'm not really worried. Sure I'm worried but not like REALLY worried in the deepest part of my soul because He is in control and He's got this. Sure my mommy-heart aches and all those fears try and creep in but God's got this. 

So, I had my chemo port placement surgery last Tuesday, February 2 and was scheduled to start chemo yesterday, February 8 but had some concerning labs that required some further imaging yesterday. More on that later, but Praise Jesus we are back on track for chemo tomorrow, February 10. I said to my oncologist "I'm so excited to start chemo!" We both laughed. 

So that's a lot. I'm sorry if I haven't been able to reach out to you personally. You all mean so much to us! Thank you so much for your prayers and kind words--they have been felt! Please keep them coming! I fell asleep during my testing yesterday! Who does that?! I'll tell you, people who have prayer warriors!

Anyways, last night I realized why the PACU nurse reminded me to take those socks when I was discharged after my first surgery....because nothing is wasted. God uses everything. Those situations you never thought you'd be in. That moment that you thought didn't mean anything. Even those awful socks. 

Don't forget your socks. 

Tata's for now (GET IT?!)

Tara

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love and sound judgement. 2 Timothy 1:7

She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25