Chemo Cycle 3 & 4

I swear I'm not avoiding you. Well, maybe a little. I'm not going to lie, I'm in the thick of it. I am a naturally positive person so I don't want to word vomit my woes all over you lovely people. Chemo cycle three was Monday March 22. That cycle was a mental hurdle. In one sense, I was half way! and in another sense, I'm only half way. And halfway through chemo not including all the other nonsense. My bad days tend to be the first 10 days after chemo. I've learned how my body reacts which is good but also hard to know what is coming. That is where the "one day at a time" mantra kicks in. Symptoms are cumulative so they have started intensifying as treatment goes on. The fatigue is really hard, makes it hard to do much of anything. Neuropathy has started causing my hands and feet to spasm and go numb. On the flip side, MY TREATMENT IS WORKING! My doctors are all very encouraged at how much my tumors have decreased in size! I noticed a difference after treatment #1. Dr. B was right, my chemo would slice through my tumors like 'butta. It's truly amazing. God has sustained me through it, given me peace, hope, and comfort. Not to mention strength! I cannot attribute it to anything but Him. A three year old and a 7 month old take E N E R G Y. I'm definitely low on that hot commodity but I somehow make it through each day. I ask God a couple times a day how I'm supposed to do all this. I mean, sweet Charlie goes to time out 43.2 times each day. He asks for ice cream 48 times a minute. He's a lot if you're not prepared. Check on your friends with toddler boys; they're not OK. Cooper has popped up two teeth and doesn't stop rolling and squirming. He's right on his way to crawling. This time in your children's life requires so much energy and attention. Cancer doesn't fit into that picture. But it's here so we're fighting it. Michael is an angel. He listens to me and brings me back when it all feels like too much. This is all hard on him but he's tough. He has continued working from home everyday. Our families have helped us so much. We are so blessed to be exactly where we are. 

Michael and I met with my plastic surgeon the following Monday after chemo three regarding my double mastectomy and reconstruction. That appointment went well except that I was really hoping against all hope that he would say only one surgery would be required. But because cancer was found in my lymph nodes, it's pretty much a golden ticket to radiation which means two surgeries. The radiation causes the skin to tighten and change so it's the enemy of implants. So they have to do the surgeries in stages. Double the fun! The first surgery will be done in tandem with my breast surgeon who will do the mastectomy and then reconstruction with by my plastic surgeon. I'm so fancy I get two surgeons! This surgery will happen July 2.  The second surgery wont happen until fallish. Blah, really?! That far?! The timeline makes sense but I guess I hadn't fully digested that chunk of time. Included with surgery #1 is pathology that will tell us where we are with the cancer, most importantly in my lymph nodes. Those labs done during surgery will guide the procedure that will ultimately be done and then what treatment will look like after surgery. There are a couple different routes based on findings. 

Chemo cycle #4 was this past Monday, April 12. We had to leave the house at 6:50 am for our appointments. My sweet husband had gotten up early to make me bacon and while we were getting ready our over sensitive smoke alarms started going off. Nooooo! Disaster. Baby! Toddler! Sleeping! In the middle of fanning the smoke alarms, I noticed dog vomit all over our bed comforter. Yep, one of those mornings. With nana and grandma to the rescue, we somehow made it out the door. I met with Dr. B who said my labs were rockstar status and the labs of a normal human not going through treatment. I reminded her I'm definitely not normal (I beat Michael to it.)  I have a couple symptoms I've been really struggling with so she prescribed me more meds which I was not pumped about. At the infusion center, the nurses informed me that I was the 1,000th patient seen in this new building site so I got a VIP room and won a new car! Nope. My VIP room had a door as opposed to a curtain.  But it made us smile. I was in and out of sleep while Michael sat with me. I ordered a $15 salad from across the street and lived it up with some kale and spinach and a double chocolate cookie. Balance people. The weather in Colorado has been moody, 70 degrees one day and then snowing the next. This does not help this chemo sucking sunshine hoarder. Please pray for sunshine.

Tata's for now,

Tara