Chemo Cycle 5

My favorite nurse let me go outside this day and then she got in trouble for it. She was awesome. 

So I'm a little behind as it's been a dumpster fire around here. I just had my last chemo #6 (!) but wanted to update you on my #5 happenings in case you're really bored. It's been a doozy. Chemo #5 was originally scheduled for May 3 but about a week before that I started feeling pretty crappy. I was fighting through it but a few days before chemo we started getting concerned with my symptoms and ended up going into the urgent care that my hospital provides specifically for oncology patients so that we can try to avoid the ER. It's an amazing service because everything is oncology specific as our treatment is so detailed and complicated. We were suspicious that it could be covid but chemo also brings on a slew of symptoms that paired with a cold or low labs could be lots of other things. Anyways, it ended up being covid. Not sure how I got it but doesn't really matter. Michael got it shortly after me. This was also the week my sister Becca and her new baby Maecy had planned on coming in from Charlotte to help me. So logistically things changed. My chemo got pushed out so that I could recover. My main symptoms were sore throat, body aches, muscle aches, headache, general malaise. No fever. The worst of it lasted a few days. My mom took Charlie to her house so we could rest and Becca ended up flying in and helped with Charlie as well as my sister Emily who lives in Denver. We were SO THANKFUL for their help. We managed Cooper between me and Michael. Charlie and Cooper were totally fine, thank GOD. I was majorly bummed to have chemo bumped back because it changes timelines but it was only a week so not too bad. My body was not happy to be trying to recover from chemo and covid so that was not great but I've been so amazed at how strong my body is. Don't get me wrong, this process has been a GRIND but I get up every morning to face the day ahead with God's help. 

So we went in the following week to see my oncologist and we and she felt that it was ok to proceed with chemo that day so we forged ahead. There of course haven't been a lot of studies on the effects of chemo on covid patients and Dr. B hadn't treated many patients in my situation but up to that point my body has responded extremely well to my drug regime. It's also not great to have to pause chemo treatments as the drugs work best on a specific regimen aka DIE CANCER CELLS, DIE.  I did just fine with the treatment that day and went home to rest and recover. It was a pretty typical recovery for me but the fatigue and diarrhea was much worse than past treatments and wasn't leveling out. 14 days after that chemo I was really struggling and my hands and feet were contracted and seizing up. My hands were essentially claws and I had to move them into place to get them where I wanted them. It was extremely uncomfortable and hard to do anything. I thought it was related to my neuropathy but we called the Cancer Care Clinic and they wanted me to come in ASAP. Turns out after lab work that my magnesium, potassium, and calcium were at a critically low level. Like very low. Like I was going to have a cardiac event any minute. So they said they may have to admit me to the hospital for the night if it didn't come up to an acceptable level after getting IV's. Scary. After a long day at the hospital they felt OK letting me go home for the night with the understanding of coming back the next morning. The next morning, my levels had dipped again over night so lots more IV's. Had to go back to the hospital 2 more times that week for more IV's, and hours of drab hospital rooms. 

So needless to say it's been a lot. Michael and our families have been amazing to jump in where needed with Charlie and Cooper. It's so hard for me to not be able to feel myself and be the mom that I want to be to them. Being a parent is a constant pouring out of yourself so when your tank is on empty it's nearly impossible. I dig as deep as I can for them. Charlie and Cooper are so good to roll with the punches and just know that mommy has lots of meetings and is extra tired. Charlie is very empathetic to me which is so sweet. He saw a contraption on my body that doles out medicine and was very concerned about me. It's been a great lesson for him but breaks my heart, too. My nurses and PAs and care team through this all were UH-MAZING. They are some of the kindest people I've ever met. I have had the best nurses ever and we keep each other laughing. I call the cancer care clinic the spa. 

We don't really know why my levels aren't sustaining, it's hard to know exactly with all that I've got going on but then again not really. I have cancer, I'm on my 5th round of chemo and I had covid in the middle of it so all those things combined makes for your body being like UH WHUT. ARE. YOU. DOING. TO. ME. NOW. I've tried to eat as healthy as I could, listened to my care team, and let God fight the battle for me. The process brings so many emotions with it, fine one moment definitely not fine the next. I get the most anxious when I'm so fatigued that I have to give myself a pep talk to get up the stairs so I can collapse on the bed. I don't like that feeling. It's unnerving. My med schedule is also re-donkulus and hard to keep up with. Taking care of me is a full time job right now, which sucks. I don't like that. I am the girl who takes a multivitamin and occasional ibuprofen and is ready to go. SO AAAANYWAYS, plop. There you go. If you've stuck with me this long you must be really bored! Go outside! Go eat some kale and then a really good chocolate chip cookie. YOLO. 

Tata's for now, 

Tara 

My hair has thinned but hung on! Thanks to the Digni cap (stupid cap). This day at the hospital, I made a fan favorite insta-video. Must've been something special in my IV that day. 

The rougher Charlie is with Cooper the more he likes it. Uh-Oh

       Daddy is a favorite around here